I always know when I’m not living true to what I preach everyday- authenticity! It took me traveling over 2,000 miles this week to figure that out.
It always starts with that overwhelming anxiety. You know, the kind that no matter how many techniques or tricks you’ve learned thus far, will work on controlling it? The kind where you feel like you are being choked, constantly, and its completely exhausting- and everyday you are “faking it to make it”. In all honesty, I feel like this a lot of the time. It’s usually when I have worked myself to death, my stress level is high, my business isn’t running as planned, my kids are misbehaving- I’m just drained. I start to move away from that authentic place, and find myself more concerned with others opinions. I get cranky, then angry. I am frustrated, sad, and nothing seems enjoyable, and the malaise has begun to suffocate other areas of my life. I want things to change, but I have no idea where to start. Ever feel this way? Your feelings of stagnation exist because, deep down, you’re not being honest with yourself.
For me, this is when I find is so important to find my “center”. It usually consists of escaping and being able to find peace in nature. Meditation can be helpful, exercise. It’s important to be honest with yourself. To know what truly makes YOU happy, where YOU find that calm, your balance.
So how do you really know if you aren’t living in a place of authenticity?
Things you say when you are living out of that authentic place:
“I can’t take care of what I have, so I’ll never have what I want.”
“Given my horrible track record, a good relationship just isn’t in the cards for me.”
“I developed this illness so God must really hate me.”
When life’s obstacles arise, you are not being punished. You’re being awakened. Always remember this. Pay attention to those times when you are insincere in your speech, or when you are acting in a way that doesn’t align with your core values. Then explore the fears and beliefs that may create those barriers to your authenticity.
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
Something else I’ve noticed I’ve done a lot lately is not trust my gut. So, trust your intuition. Often, we feel out of sync when we are acting inauthentic. Things just don’t feel right. Pay attention to those hunches, physical sensations, and impressions. They can be your instincts telling you that you are not being genuine. When you are on track and authentic, you’ll feel that too.
Understand that authenticity is linked to our values and belief system; those by which we set our moral compass towards and away from things we feel intuitively guided by.
“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.”
Being authentic means knowing how to be resillient so you are better equipped when the shit hits the fan- and believe me, the shit WILL hit the fan. Authenticity isn’t just about finding happiness – we have to be realistic that happiness 100% of the time is not sustainable. Authenticity is more about doing something because it makes you feel good. Doing the things YOU want to do, instead of what others think you should do.
The wonderful thing about when you feel like you aren’t living an authentic life- you can always start NOW!
So here are my questions to you, if you think you want to live a more authentic life.
What would you be happy to give up?
Where do you love spending time?
What’s non negotiable?
What do you want?
What do you not want?
What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
The issue with us not going for what we want a lot of the time is the fear that is often attached to making changes, and what’s at stake if things don’t work out. Sometimes it’s not letting go of the past, holding on to resentments, instead of owning our story. But what, just what, would you do if the idea of failure were not part of your decision-making process?
So, what next? What have you found out about yourself? What has surprised you? Where do you want to take this? It’s all out there for you gorgeous one. It’s for you to go out and get it! Remember I am always here to help you get started on that path.
Do you want to live more of an authentic life, But you’re not really sure how to do it? Let’s talk. Why not book a FREE 30 minute no obligation discovery session with me today?
Designer, Life Coach, + Realtor - Candance Toscano
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